Issues and Answers News - vol. 4, 4/17/04

1 Timothy 4: 1,6 “But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons…… In pointing out these things to the brethren, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, {constantly} nourished on the words of the faith and of the sound doctrine which you have been following.”

Marriage and Kids
This issue is devoted to marriage and the family. I am forever thankful when I write and study on this subject considering the Lord’s goodness and grace towards us. I met my wife when I was 14, married her when I was 20, got saved when I was 25 at which time the Lord not only saved Christie and I but saved our marriage as well and we will celebrate our 34th anniversary in August. We have 3 children all married and doing well and 5 grandchildren( the 5th is due in the fall). All because of God’s grace and mercy!

I want to take a look at the statistics that Fox News presented over the weekend of May the 15-16th. What a contrast to God’s plan for marriage. As our nation slides further and further away from God’s best, we are witnessing the results of man’s worship of himself. Instead of getting discouraged, I hope that this newsletter encourages you to continue to follow the Lord in all that you do. Man’s wisdom always falls short of the Lord’s and never more so then in the area of marriage.

The Bad News from Fox(weekend of May 15-16th) Excerpts

MARRIAGE

- Fifty percent of first marriages will end in divorce, according to the latest U.S. Census Bureau) projections, taken in 2002.
- Men and women have slightly different track records with divorce. As of 1995, about 50 percent of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in divorce; between 44 and 52 percent of women's first marriages may end in divorce for that age group.
- The likelihood of a divorce is lowest for men and women over age 60. Thirty-six percent of men and 32 percent of women in that age group may get divorced from their first spouse by the end of their lives.
- As many as 50 percent of people in their early forties may be divorced from their first spouse.
- Within five years of marriage, about 10 percent of first-time married couples will likely divorce.
- In 1970, the median age for a first marriage was 21 for women and 23 for men. By 2000, that number had risen to 25 for women and 27 for men.
- The proportion of never-married women ages 20 to 24 doubled between 1970 and 2000, increasing from 36 percent to 73 percent. Among men this age, the share rose from 55 percent to 84 percent. Women ages 30-34 who were never married tripled during that time, from 6 percent to 22 percent. Men this age who never married grew from 9 percent to 30 percent.
- By the age 35, about 74 percent of men and women have been married; by age 65, 95 percent have been.
- Marriage is the model type of living arrangement for people aged 25-34. In 2000, 50 percent of men and 57 percent of women this age were married and living with their spouse

MARRIAGE AND KIDS

- Seven in 10 of the nation's 72.3 million children under 18 lived with two parents in 2002.
- Children under 15 represented 84 percent of the 49.7 million kids under 18 living with two parents in 2002. Of these, about 11 million lived with stay-at-home moms and 189,999 with stay-at-home dads.
- Three in 10 children under 18 were living with their single father and their dad's unmarried partner in 2002; only 1 in 10 kids who lived with their single mother shared the home with the mom's unmarried partner. In 1996, about 5 percent of all children lived with unmarried parents and their parent's partner.
- Two-fifths of unmarried couple households included children under 18 years old in 2000.
- In 1980, 77 percent of all children under 18 lived with two parents; 73 percent did in 1990 and 69 percent did by 2000.
- By 2000, about 5 percent of the nation's children - 4 million - were living in a grandparent's home; only 14 percent of that number had both a mother and father living with them.

Sources: The U.S Census Bureau, National Vital Statistics Reports at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

The Good News From God’s Word Excerpts

The Lord has a plan for the family!!! He even likens the relationship between the husband and the wife to the relationship between Himself and the church. His plan always works and is designed to provide great joy and satisfaction when it is worked His way. The consequences of doing it our way are catastrophic as evidenced by the statistics presented above.
To the husbands, God’s Word declares in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”. Husbands are supposed to love their wives in the same way that Christ loved us, putting aside all selfishness and caring for our wives in a Christ like fashion. We are called to do marriage the way that the Lord wants, not satisfying self will but the will of the Father. We then become the conduit of God’s love to our spouses. I remember once from my IC days being approached after sharing this message by a very aggressive women. Instead of balling me out, she said that if she could find a man to love her like that she would gladly submit to Him. God’s love is the magnet that draws others to Him through us. The bad news is that we men do not have that kind of love to give. Without first having received God’s love manifest in His Son, we can not give it to our spouses. It is humanly impossible to obey this command outside of salvation. But having received God’s love, each of us are now able to give His love to our spouse. Oh, for godly men who are filled with His Spirit to love their wives like Christ loved the church!
To the wives, the scripture declares in Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” It goes on and says that the wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Our culture makes the word “submit” a dirty word. But let’s be honest, we all submit to someone or something. Our boss, the local laws on speed limits, the paying of taxes, the rules of the golf course, etc. Even 300 lb. football players stop playing when the whistle blows. In spite of the fact that we all submit everyday all day, our culture considers submission a horrible idea. What hypocrisy! God created women equal to men in essence and attributes but He calls the woman to submit to her husband in the same way that Christ submitted to His Father. Jesus was equal to His Father but gladly prayed not my will but they will be done. It is this same submission that the Lord requires of Godly wives.
To the children, the Word declares in Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Thank God for the gift of parents! That He would be so gracious to provide us with loving caretakers that would act as both the Law and the Holy Spirit until the child comes to a saving knowledge of Christ and can operate by the Spirit on his/her own.
Our government tries in vain to pass laws to change the downward spiral of marriage and family in our country. The only plan that works is God’s plan. Husbands love……wives submit…..children obey!